i jhust puked up my retainher.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
