im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Randomize
