Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i will never coherently bang her
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize