So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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