Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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