Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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