So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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