I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
