Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Randomize
