dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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