glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
