im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
