So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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