I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
