I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
