I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
