Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i barfeds in our rink
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
