I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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