ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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