Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize