The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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