Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
