Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize