When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
