GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
