I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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