I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
