Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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