I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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