just survived the first fart of the relationship.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
