So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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