Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
