Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
