i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
