Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
