I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So many bounce houses so little time
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize