we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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