so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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