You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
