We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
