We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
