If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
