i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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