thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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