we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
