And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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