That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
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