How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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