Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
