3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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