office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Michael Bay diarrhea
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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