I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
