He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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