I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
