You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Never joke about your clitoris.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
