I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
