my mouth tastes like poor choices
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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